obnoxious hotdog

2008-09-30T09:27:00.002-06:00

Canned People

Every morning, I watch all these people unconciously approach the processing plants of local train stations scattered throughout the Chicago suburbs to board their own personal tin can. The doors seal up, and we all collectively await delivery to our respective owners.

The doors open with a pop, and we all pour out to our day.

2008-08-06T10:33:00.003-06:00

What if Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness was one disc...

So I was watching the Best of Pumpkins Video collection over the weekend and got stuck thoroughly enjoying it. The Pumpkins have always been a band that was taken for granted for me. I mean I have always been a huge fan, but since I assumed that it was a great album, I wouldn't take the time to enjoy it.

Anyways, I was thinking about the vastness of Mellon Collie... and how it was great, amongst the...well filler isn't the right word, but it's the only one that comes to mind. Here's the track listing:

Disc one: Dawn to Dusk
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
Tonight, Tonight
Jellybelly
Zero
Here Is No Why
Bullet with Butterfly Wings
To Forgive
Fuck You (An Ode to No One)
Love
Cupid de Locke
Galapogos
Muzzle
Porcelina of the Vast Oceans
Take Me Down

Disc two: Twilight to Starlight
Where Boys Fear to Tread
Bodies
Thirty-Three
In the Arms of Sleep
1979
Tales of a Scorched Earth
Thru the Eyes of Ruby
Stumbleine
X.Y.U.
We Only Come Out at Night
Beautiful
Lily (My One and Only)
By Starlight
Farewell and Goodnight

Whew...that's a load, and it extends to so many different sounds. Remember, this is the direct full release following the explosion that was Siamese Dream, so they probably could have released Billy Corgan doing the "Luke, I am your father" into a fan for 8 tracks and it would have been a success, especially with the steller-ness of Bullet with Butterfly Wings.

So what if it was just one album? Say 13 tracks? I think it makes my top ten by a hair, but it would surely be a top five without all 28 tangents. Plus, that would leave 15 tracks to work on to make a stronger Mellon Collie... follow up in Adore, which doesn't move me like I had hoped it would. It may have also prolonged the magic for the Pumpkins. The undertaking of a 28 track album and subsequential promotion/touring and the unyielding ambition of Billy had to greatly tire the band.

Anyways, here is the album I would make...

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Tonight, Tonight

Fuck You (An Ode to No One)

Love

Cupid de Locke

Bullet with Butterfly Wings

Galapogos

Muzzle

Porcelina of the Vast Oceans

Thirty-Three

1979

Stumbleine

Farewell and Goodnight

Yes, I left off Zero. Great song, but I never felt like it fit the Mellon Collie... vibe, especially with the superior An Ode to No One already on the disc taking the spot of the dark, harder track. Zero would be a great lead single for any album, and probably would have given Adore a nice boast for a single.

Other then that, I would have played this one-disc'er on repeat obsessively and not feel like I needed to switch to disc two and stumble through some of the more cumbersome tracks. This album would easily be remembered as a legendary, decade defining rock record, possibly displacing Siamese Dream to a second place on the Smashing Pumpkins best of list.

Anyways, it was just a what-if that coulda-been...

2007-10-03T15:00:00.000-06:00

Running Free

This is it. The week of. T-Minus 3 days and 15 hours...

All the energy, time, pain, commitment, socks, shoes, pain, miles, pain and pain lead up to this Sunday at 8 AM. I feel good...there are a couple of butterflies developing, and I suspect their existence will sustain for the weekend.

Looking forward, everything is hard to recognize, but looking back, I see the piles of everything I have put into this. This is not going to be painless, but I know that.

I have some great achievements to be proud of already. I have ran further then I have ever ran on 4 different occasions. I weigh less then I have weighed since my sophomore year of college. I am eating better then ever. I set myself a goal and I am on the verge of completing it.

Thanks goes to everyone for anything that you have done. Your mind is a tricky thing, and sometimes it just needs to hear some words of encouragement to get through a couple of miles. Also, thanks to anyone who donated to the Children's Memorial Hospital (see link in below blog).

I might or might not write one more time. Probably a panicky one on Saturday. My goal for the weekend is to be peaceful and stress free. And eat a lot.

Let me know if you are going to be watching the marathon so I can look for you.

Much love and respect to anyone who sets their mind on something and reaches it.

2007-09-27T08:43:00.000-06:00

"Surface To Air"

So it's something like 10 days away, but who's counting anyways...

I ran 18 miles last Saturday at a 9:30 pace and felt real good. I ran with some friends for the first time and it made a HUGE difference, so I am feeling pretty confident about not dying for the marathon. 18 was the longest I had ever run.

So now is the tapering period, were you get your body feeling better from all the punishment, and thats what I am doing. I am icing knees almost every day, stretching and spending time in the hot tub and eating good. I am cutting weight a little, still want to lose about 5 more lbs. and I think I can.

Everyone has been so giving to the Children's Memorial Hospital. I have passed my goal and went over $1,000 and am still pushing, so please give here: Tim's Marathon Donation

The next time I post, I will include all sorts of details about the race. I am actually getting excited.

2007-09-20T08:53:00.000-06:00

"Underneath this smiles lies everything. All my hopes and anger, pride and shame."

You know the feeling of hearing the clicking on the way up a roller coaster? The anxiety that slowly builds, either excitement or fear? Knowing that you are to go down, but it just seems like its taking forever? Your stomach naturally preparing itself for the drop to follow? Click...click...click...click...click...knowing the rapid decline will follow...

That's how I have been feeling for the past months. I have felt like there is nothing I can do about October 7. I can't create more time between now and then and I can't substitute what I didn't do in the past with anything I can do in the present or future.

This is neither good nor bad, but it has taught me a valuable lesson. That there is no better time to accomplish or work towards accomplishment then now.

Back on Earth...training is going well. I have one more long run this weekend (18 miles!!!) and then I taper down and restore the aches and pains to a more natural feeling.

It's pretty amazing in hindsight. I ran 15 miles two weeks ago and felt great. It's easy to downplay 15 miles in comparison to 26(.2), but it made me feel good. Two years ago, I was straight up frightened to run a measly 8K (5 miles). I was so worked up and thought I was gonna die. Now I feel like getting all suited up and only running 5 is a waste of my time. This isn't a bragging point, but more of a statement that I worked towards something and have seen real, tangible results. It's encouraging. It would have been real easy, and natural, to get freaked out about 26 miles in May and paralyze myself with what I couldn't do, but when I broke it down, I am almost ready, and I am excited.

However, I cannot wait to be done.

By the way, all the titles of the blog entries are lines from songs.

2007-09-07T10:16:00.000-06:00

We All Walk The Long Road...

T-Minus one month. Deep breathe.

I am running 12s and ups now. I am only running 2-3 times a week, buts its by design (kinda). I have discovered that my body is not optimal for this amount of mileage, or maybe it is, minus 20 pounds. Either way, I am down to around 225 and it's just not cracking. I have stopped drinking and my diet is good. I am by no means doing everything, but I am telling you that it is still difficult to maintain this level. It's just so easy to scarf down a plate of nachos and drink a couple beers, but I can't do it.

I ran 13 last weekend, going to run 15 tomorrow and 18 the next weekend. After that I am supposed to ween down my running, but I want another long run.

There are so many parts of the long running that is testing...
1. It's f'n time consuming. I need to plan to take at least 2 hours for them.
2. Energy planning is tough. I need to eat something before the run and be well hydrated, but I don't want to go number 2 in the middle of the run. Plus I need to plan the run along water fountains and I need to take Goo Packs, which are pretty much gross.
3. My system gets all jarred up on the long ones.
4. It can be boring. It's like you run by something and then run 3 more miles and then you pass it again...my mind is just like "this, again?!?!"
5. I have a nagging IT band issue. Its a tendon that runs from your hip to your knee. During the run, it feels like someone is stretching it apart.
6. For about 2 days after the run, I can't walk. I literally can not walk down stairs normally. I have to walk down backwards.

I am not bitching. I knew this was going to suck. I am just sharing and venting.
Honestly, I cannot wait to cross the finish line. The time went so fast, yet now each run is such a commitment for me. It's like looking at your study guide for a class an looking when the final exam is and thinking that it's so far away and before you know it, it's here.

Deep breathe. Don't panic. I just gotta keep my head down and walk the long road.

2007-08-16T15:02:00.000-06:00

Veni, Vidi, Vici

If there was a word that accurately described a deer's eyes in headlights, I would use that word here. I am less then two months away. I am feeling good, but i have yet to run anything longer then 10, but mainly because of lack of time then anything else. My summer of traveling is over and my alcohol intake is about done too. My body feels good, its time to just go.

The weather is great too. I bought some new shoes and it's amazing how much you obsess about them knowing that you will be running 26.2 miles in them. I am learning about all of the greater details of a marathon, like pooping and peeing, body glide, nipple guards, imodium and packing your body with as much energy it can handle.

I keep on hearing about "race day adrenalin" and I think I am underestimating it, but I won't know that until afterwards I suppose. I haven't been running the Lakeview Path, which has been sucking.

So, basically, I am finished with negative thoughts, no matter what I feel. I am just going to bury all doubt and drive ahead.

Oh yeah, the donations are rolling in, so thanks to everyone who has helped.

2007-07-16T20:23:00.000-06:00

Better Do Better

Hmm...holy crap have I been slacking. It's been a whirlwind past three weeks, and I feel it through my entire body. I get to sleep in tomorrow, but I leave for a long trip tomorrow night.

My running has sucked. My miles are way too low. I am hurting. I need to kick it up a couple of gears. I was committed, but fell off the wagon similar to Li-Lo's recent celebratory "Congrats You're Out Of Rehab" Vegas Trip.

I was in DC for a week and got some runs in the mall, which was outstanding, but my dogs (read: feet) were killing me from wearing dress shoes 12 hours a day while running around.

I ran an 8 miler last week and was had some serious doubt set in. Pain... My foot was (still) falling asleep, quad was tightening (or an invisible leprechaun was running next to me and punching the shit outta my thigh) and my feet just hurt. In other words, I've been a Sally comma bitch.

It's all good though. With great pain comes great reward. I will be outta town and able to take some time to see some new places while racking up some mileage.

I am going be utterly exhausted, but who cares. There's something to be said for driving your body to the ground just to get to the top of a hill, because looking back down that hill is so much more amazing.

Goonies never die.

2007-06-28T23:12:00.000-06:00

You Say Too Late To Start...

It's been a while, but mainly because I haven't had much to say and been busy. I went to see an orthopedic doctor the other week for some lower back tightness, and he told me to lower my mileage for a little bit (yes, that's mostly an excuse).

I have been busy, but also haven't made time to to run. I am in the middle of relocating (literally) and been traveling a little too. Either way, I have been running. I ran in downtown Indy on Tuesday and that was actually pretty cool. My pace has been fairly fast (between 7:40 and 8:20 per mile) but my mileage is down. I am at ten this week and REALLY need to get up to 20. I think I tweaked my calf or somethin' because it is super tight and hurts.

My biggest problem is that when ever I run, I am only thinking about finishing, so I am having a hard time chilling, slowing my pace and ripping out ten. I am thinking about switching to a treadmill for a couple runs for the hell of it and as a change. Speaking of change, any good running music suggestions? Love to hear what you got.

Thanks a ton to cK, Kartik, Jaclyn and Drake for donating to the Children's Memorial Hospital. Still taking donations here. It's really easy and would mean a lot to me.

So the bottom line here is that I need to get my mileage up. It's going to a cool month. I will be in DC for a week for work and in Indiana for a week at the end of July. I definitely be running around the capital and will post on that. Should be a great change.

See you all soon.

2007-06-07T12:06:00.000-06:00

Suddenly Is Sooner Than You Think

It's something like 120 days until the Marathon. All of the Chicago training groups start this week. Every time I post, I keep on thinking "this is getting real," but how much more real could it get?

Anyways, I am feeling pretty good. I made two resolutions yesterday.
One: No more fast food until October. I had my last Chiplote Burrito. I enjoyed the hell out of it.
Two: I can't play basketball for a while :( It puts quite a pounding on my ankles, making it extremely difficult to run the next day. Yesterday was painful.

I am starting to understand what I am capable of and I am zeroing in on my goals. Almost ready to post them up here.

I did one cool thing yesterday. I signed up to run for Children's Memorial Hospital Marathon Team to raise some funds for the hospital. I am hoping to raise over $800.00. I will be sending out emails and begging everyone to donate in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime, if you would like to donate a couple of bucks, you can do so here:
Tim's CMH Donation Page.

In a couple of posts, I will share a lot more. As I wrote in my first post, this is a big deal to me. You might wonder why, since millions of people run marathons each year, but I have my reasons, and I will share later. In the mean time, it would really mean a lot to me if you could support Children's Memorial and donate what you can. Thanks!

2007-05-29T19:03:00.000-06:00

Everything's Going as Planned...

So last week I ran Monday and Tuesday and chilled until the Soldier Field 10 mile run on Saturday (which was to be my longest run, ever). I had two awful runs both days. My foot was falling asleep, was slow, was hurting etc... Hence I was anxious. I was expecting the worse, praying for anything better.

I chilled on Friday night since we had to be up at Ass Crack A.M. on Saturday. I wake up and it looks pretty nasty out. Rainy and no sun and not too cold, which I didn't really mind. I actually prefer running in the rain in warmer weather.

We get to Soldier Field at about 6:45 A.M. and I go through my usual routine, which involves some stretching, putting down some fluid, tying and re-tying my shoes at LEAST 15 times (can't be too tight, can't be too loose and both feet must feel the same) and having someone pin my bib to my shirt so it doesn't like like a one-armed monkey put it on (I can never put them on straight). The stadium is open, so everyone is getting ready in the halls of Soldier Field.

We get to the starting area ("we" is roommate, his girlfriend and another friend of ours) where I continue to re-tie my shoes and stretch. I am now terrified that my feet are going to fall asleep, so I continue stretching my calves and ankles. We are all joking around getting warmed up. It stopped raining at this point and everyone is ready to get going. The starting area starts moving so we all pop on our headphones and move slowly towards the starting gate.

About 5 minutes go by as we move forward. During this time I take some some deep breaths and settle down. When I am sitting waiting in the start corrals, it kinda feels like going up the big incline on a roller coaster. It feels like it's going so slow and fast at the same time because once you reach the top, or the finish line, there is no turning back and you're never really sure if you enjoyed it until it's all over. And down we go...

I told myself I want to run my first 5 miles in a 9:30 to 10 minute mile pace, so I am running with one of the girls in our group and just taking it easy. Soon, I find myself sprinting ahead to the shrubbery to take a quick bathroom break and then racing back to catch up with her. No problems. First five are just fine. I'm not breaking any speed records, but everything is heating up good.

At about 4.5 miles, I start breaking away from our foursome (they were planning on running a slower pace). I start picking up my pace unconsciously and then later notice that I have. Moving pretty good and at about 5.5 I feel my left foot going out. Shit! Asshole foot. So I altered my stride a bit to lessen the impact of my foot and it worked! We make the turn and now I'm heading back to Soldier Field, looking straight at the skyline.

For the final 5 miles, I ran something close to 8 minute miles, which way exceeds my goal. I start to get ready for the final mile push. I hit the last water station (MISTAKE!!! Gave me a cramp, but I did the dramatic water-over-head-cup-toss move) and head to the finish. As I get closer, we circle around Soldier Field and enter the north end. We go under the stadium and come out on the field through the players entrance during the starting line-ups, which was pretty cool. We circle towards the side line to the fifty and I take off. I aimed for an 1:30 finish and pulled off a 1:26 time. Beat my goal by four minutes. Fun time and I couldn't be happier.

It was a very encouraging run. I am about 5 months out of the marathon, and I figure once I hit July it's going to get intense. I have already stopped drinking as much as I used to and now I have to start focusing on my diet.

I never wanted to be a "blogger", so sorry for the length.

For making it this far, check out a new mixtape by Kanye West.
New Kanye Mixtape: Can't Tell Me Nothing

Holy Tornado!

2007-05-21T08:37:00.000-06:00

The (Slow) Sound of Progress

Last week I got serious and ran 25 miles in 5 days. It isn't anything huge, but I was happy with it and it was my goal for the week. They say you should be at 40 miles a week for four weeks with about 6 weeks to go before the marathon, so I am moving in the right direction. I feel good too.

I had some much needed R&R this past weekend and I am ready for another good week. This Saturday I am running the Soldier Field 10 Mile. It should be fun and I think I am ready. It will be the longest distance I have ran by about .5 miles. The cool part is that the finish line is at the 50 yard line of Soldier Field, so you can expect some dramatics, sort of like Devin Hester busting open a punt return, but just replace the blazing speed and quick jukes with slow acceleration and stumbling spin moves.

As I thought I would about this whole marathon thing, I am learning a lot about myself. I recently realized that life will be uncomfortable at times, and you just have to deal with it. Sometimes when you try to fix something that is uncomfortable, you end up making it more uncomfortable while losing focus on what you were really supposed to be focused on.

In other words, running sucks and it doesn't really get easier. A mile will always be a mile. You just learn to put it in perspective. You have to get through it to reach your goal, if thats 26 of 'em or just a few. Just like life. Gotta tread through the shit to get to the goods.

Happy Monday.

"The weak become heroes and the stars align." -M.Skinner

2007-05-08T09:41:00.000-06:00

Everybody keeps on talking about...nobody's getting it done

Hi. I'm tired and haven't felt like myself for about two weeks. Whatever.

Anyways, I still haven't got back into it. I am hoping to feel better today and get out for 3 miles today. Still a little shaky. It's too bad, because the weather is great finally.

Good stuff: I saw LCD Soundsystem on Sunday night at the Metro. Great show. There was so much, yet so little on the stage. For all of the lack of technical understanding that I possess, this is what I saw on stage: 1 full drum set, 1 smaller set (w/ bongo drums), two guitars (sometimes two basses), 7 keyboards, at least 3 sample boards, and somewhere between 15-30 cowbells. COWBELLS!!!

The sounds were so incredible. You couldn't help but dance a bit. If you don't know, check out some LCD. It's all good, but my favorites are All My Friends, Yeah! and Someone Great. They ripped out a set ending 20-minute version of Yeah! that knocked everyone off their feet.

Moving on, I hope I can get back on my feet this week and straighten my shit out. If not, I am going to start the national running into a wall league.

Yeah!

2007-05-02T08:20:00.000-06:00

Your Guess is as Good as Mine

Frustrated. Stupid body never agrees with me. So I had a great week running two weeks ago. Logged almost 30 miles and met my goal. Then everything started shutting down on me. Not sure what happened. I know I needed some time off, which was due, but then I got this weird walking migraine thing and I haven't run for over a week now. I probably have to take a little more time off. I have some things to worry about next week, but once I get through that, ready to get into it.

Not sure what gives, but I guess my body is trying to tell me something. Since I know I need to keep with positives through this endeavor, here are the positives of the time off:
-Shoulder is feeling much better
-Right leg/ankle/foot feels better
-Blisters healed up
-Washed all my stinky running gear
-Feet don't hurt

I think those are the clear benefits, without including sitting in front of TV and playing PlayStation. I've also tried to watch some old Bond movies as well. Bond movies were very long and boring until '85 or so, FYI.

Anyways, I was at a bar last weekend and heard a song that I knew, but couldn't figure out what it was. It was Coldplay's "God Put a Smile Upon Your Face", but a crazy, drum and horn heavy instrumental version done by Mark Ronson. Here's a link to check it out: Mark Ronson: God Put a Smile Upon Your Face

Your guess is as good as mine...

And remember, Wu-Tang is for the chil'ren. Much love.

2007-04-24T08:22:00.000-06:00

Minor Tweaks

So I think I mustered up about 25 miles last week. I didn't go very hard since I am trying to ease my way up to a couple of 10 milers a week. By the way, I am using this site www.walkjogrun.net that lets you use the Google Map/Earth interface to map your routes and track your mileage. I recommend checking it out.

Sunday was beautiful and I ran down to North Ave. Beach. Too bad it was a crappy run. Leading me to a question to anyone who knows. My foot keeps on falling asleep when I run. I think its at about the 3 mile point when I start feel it going. I have tried to lacing my shoes differently and not tie my shoes so tight to increase circulation, but it happened again on Sunday. Any ideas?

Adios.

2007-04-16T10:34:00.000-06:00

Sunday, October 7th, 2007

I have made the commitment (meaning I spent the $110).
I definitely felt the anxiety set in the second I clicked "register".
But oh well, too late now.

Over the next half-year I am going to drastically change a lot of what I do. On Sunday, October 7th, 2007 I will be one of the thousands running the Chicago Marathon.

I have a lot of work to get ready, but I am going to this. I am going to have to push myself harder then I have had to in a very, very long time, but this is something I really want, and I am going to complete the Chicago Marathon.

So, as a motivation mechanism, I am going to try to keep a journal of sorts about where I am in training. I figure I will need all the support I can get, plus this will give me a little more to be accountable to, as anyone who reads this can bust my ass if I am slipping. Additionally, I will be raising some funds for charity, and I will put that request out here as well.

Once I have some specific goals, I will post.

Here goes nothing. See you at the starting line...
Peace out.